what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
