What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
