i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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