I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
