is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Randomize
