Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
