just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
