so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
