erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
