I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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