chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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