Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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