keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
