I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
