i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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