the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I just want nice things and good sex
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
