Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
