I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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