These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
