If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
