Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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