Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
