Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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