hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
