Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
