some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
