It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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