if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
