So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
