It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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