she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
