there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
