I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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