Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
