I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
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