Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
last night I used snow as a chaser
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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