Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
