Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
