exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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