trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize