you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
