STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
this hospital has no fireball
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
