I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
