he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
