its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
