I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
