I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
