I hate your face
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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