I want to walk on stilts...naked
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
