I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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