Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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