ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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