She announced her abortion via fbk
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
