oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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