I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
