I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
