I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I didn't notice because vodka
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
