he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Randomize
