The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
