Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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