I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
