Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
