honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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