This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
