I heard we made out
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize