so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
she pinky promised me she was 18
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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