The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
