I heard we made out
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
