He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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