after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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