Porn is love you can see.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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