So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize