Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
