So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
