Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Randomize
